Life is very unpredictable for each one of us and any misfortune may destroy our happiness for sure. Especially when the misfortune is related to losing one’s baby it becomes so much more difficult for anyone to cope up with this trauma of pain and anxiety. In modern times, miscarriage is not an uncommon issue. Many couples have encountered this tragedy which has shattered their dream of having a baby.
A miscarriage not just harms the physical health but also it takes away the emotional well being all together. Coping with this loss physically is to some level bearable, involves a good diet, personal care and the help of a professional expert. While on the emotional side, it’s devastating.
For this reason, we have compiled a few of the essential tips on how you can cope with a recent miscarriage and continue living your life smoothly without making the situation worse.
- Stop feeling a lonely sufferer. The truth is that miscarriage is all too common. Stillbirth also happens far more often than people realize. Knowing the fact that many other parents experience miscarriage won’t erase your emotional pain, but it can help you in feeling more comfortable and sharing your story so in the long term you can manage the loss. 'You are not alone and it's equally hard for everyone who's out there going through.' The feelings may be running from shock and sadness to irrational guilt and anxiety about future pregnancies.
- Blaming yourself is impractical. During these day the women might encounter a chain of emotions like anxiety, stress, anger, despair. Most people don’t know what to say when to their loved ones at this time. Often, as a result of all this, something malicious is said unknowingly. Most of the time, they are angry at themselves, feeling guilty and questioning whether it was their fault. The incredibly important thing for them to understand is we that with miscarriage, 'It’s not your fault! As hard as it is to hear, it is a natural occurrence, and even if you were doing all the right things, there were chances that it might happen and it just did. There's no fault of yours in it.' Finding out the cause of your loss may help, but even if the cause is unknown, you can learn to let go of self-blame.
- Avoid any form of miscommunication with your partner. Both men and women emotionally suffer the loss of miscarriage. Not only the woman but also the man has a typical way of responding to this crisis. Often, men go into a higher level of stress due to their responsibility to act as a problem-solver. But they usually end up feeling helpless and inadequate when they aren’t able to resolve their partner’s predicament. Miscommunication is the root cause of any such problem as when such a crisis strikes woman tries to isolate her and indulge in a self-blaming or self-pity situation. Due to this families or marriages suffer the consequences which can be drastic. Whenever a man sees his partner cry over the topic about the baby, it gives him the signal to not to bring up the subject. And because he doesn't bring it up, the woman might feel he doesn't care, when he does.
- Let the emotions flow out. Emotions are real and everyone has the right to express their pain or the emotional outburst within them. After all, every human has to express emotions to attain peace, there's a loss of a loved one, a new life being talked here. Even a private person can take a moment to cry, even though alone. Give in to it once in a while. Likewise, don’t forget that it’s okay to feel joy again, it's about the good times which help us through the bad ones. There might be anger in the couple that they didn't get to see the face of their baby, might feel envy against all other successful pregnancies. All the feelings shall be expressed, it's only contagious to keep everything boiled up. Remember, there shouldn't be any shame in grieving.
- Time is the best healer. So don't go rushing into things and pretending that nothing's wrong, nothing happened or suddenly everything is completely fine. Take time to experience the grieving process. Some days might be good, some days might be bad, the couple should take time to come in terms with each other. Another thing is don't feel the rush to try things again, take time and let the pain ease up before trying again to get pregnant. The doctor will ask you to take some time, so listen to it. Be physically and emotionally ready before trying again. A future pregnancy doesn't replace an early pregnancy loss settle this grieve first.
- Share your feelings or take some professional help. The pain of loss can drain you up. Talk to the loved ones try talking about your experience. It's painful but helpful. After the miscarriage, the doctor will make sure that you are fine, but it will be only physical. Do ask for support, there's nothing wrong in it. Many hospitals have counselling centres, so ask for an appointment. Professional support can be very helpful in overcoming all the feelings of anxiety or stress. The doctor will not only suggest a healthy diet but also how to cope up the loss.
Conclusion: It may take a couple of months for your body to settle into a regular cycle. But it entirely depends on your attitude towards life in such a distressful time. Still, the emotional healing process after a miscarriage may take some time, and often it takes much longer than the physical healing takes. Allowing yourself to grieve the loss can help you come to terms with it in the long run. Try to focus on taking care of yourself and cutting out anything that may cause you extra worry which will help your body to get ready for pregnancy by eating healthy and keeping fit.